'I like you more than you think' quotes a science experiment
We shouldn’t underestimate the power of a first impression. It is the fraction of a second, window of opportunity a person has to form an opinion about another individual. Studies have shown that, although the speed of creating an opinion is incredibly fast, people find it extremely difficult to change that initial opinion, once their mind has embraced it. We can also become increasingly anxious and stressed out when meeting a stranger because we apply too much pressure on that first encounter. Interestingly enough though, we make a better first impression than we think we do, most of the time. There is a good reason to why this article is called 'I like you more than you think,' quotes and reports taken from a scientific study also - let's find out more.
The Science of liking
A study was recently conducted by Psychological Science, and it revealed that we all tend to misrepresent the likeness a stranger has for us. The researchers grouped pairs together; these pairs were meeting for the very first time. They were encouraged to enter into a conversation. After a period the pairs were split up and asked to rate how much they liked the other person. They were also asked how much they thought they were liked by the other participant.
For the most part, individuals underestimated how much the were liked by the other person. They mostly estimated that they liked more than they were liked. The interesting thing was, the researches observed most of the signs that suggested a participant liked the other person. However, the participant who was liked failed to notice the same signs that the observers noticed.
Missing the Signs
This observation was in line with the final submissions of the observed pairs, although, the consistency was not enough to convince the individuals that they liked their partners. While discussing the study in a news release, Margaret Clark, Ph.D., a Yale University psychology professor and one of the researchers, said, "They seem to be too caught up in their fears about what they should or shouldn't say or did. This prevented them from noticing the obvious signals that the others were sending. These signs that indicated the other person liking them, were only picked up by the observers, said Margaret Clark, Ph.D., a Yale University psychology professor and one of the authors of the study. "We're self-protectively pessimistic and want to have sufficient confirmation that the other person likes us before we jump to conclusions.
The 'Liking Gap'
These experiments were repeated many times. However, the same 'liking gap' resulted, were the participants reported they liked more than they were liked. This stayed consistent in the experiments inside a lab setting with longer conversation periods and also experiments in the real world setting.
What's going on?
You may ask, what's going on here?
Why do we assume we like the other person more than we're liked back? The authors suggest many people may simply have a tendency to self-criticize as a sort of survival reflex.
"After people have conversations, their thoughts tend to be critical of their own social performance, and they then project these thoughts onto others and have doubts about how much others like them," the paper notes. "One of life's greatest fears is 'social evaluation'. And so it makes sense that people are vigilant to any potential causes for embarrassment or social awkwardness. Also, people call to mind their social flaws to fix for next time, people have access to their ideal selves to which their actual selves cannot live up, and people think their social awkwardness is on display more than it really is."
There's a lot of unaware self-criticism and fear that underpins many of our social behaviors—and they even influence our perspective of our interactions. We sometimes require the other person to give us an 'I like you more than you think,' indicator in order to believe that we're indeed liked more than our perception.
The next encounter you have, take two deep breaths. Attempt to calm your nerves and ground yourself. Afterward, focus on to the kind of emotions you're attaching to your evaluation of how the encounter went; if you catch yourself in a self-judgmental downward spiral, counter it with self-empowering affirmations. Also, imagine the other person saying 'I like you more than you think,' quotes and findings in this article should also be a reminder.
Stay mindful of the 'liking gap, don't sell yourself short.