Hi there Ultimate lifers,
This is a letter from the heart and freshly extracted from an experience I encountered yesterday.
As many of you may or may not know, apart from all of my other endeavors, I also play the piano and write songs. Now, an incident happened to me less than 24 hours ago in which I wanted to write about while it was fresh on my mind and still living out through my emotions. In the name of transparency, I wanted to share my real life experience of rejection, bouncing back and the lessons that are connected to it.
After many conversations with a top international producer, we finally arranged to meet up at his London based studios. This was no ordinary meeting, this producer was responsible for many of the hits you hear on the radio and he possesses the power to make an artist successful. Now as a songwriter, I am pretty confident with my products and extremely confident in my general abilities as a person. Not from a place of distorted pride but a healthy sense of who I am, my abilities and my potential. So I prepared, timed the journey and with full, positive expectation arrived early. I was let in and taken through into a large professional recording studio. I sat, ordered coffee and waited patiently for the producer to arrive. As I waited with anticipation, I played out a multitude of favorable outcomes and fully expected to discuss signing a contract within the coming hour.
He arrived and we greeted. It was as if we had met before, we clicked straight away and proceeded to talk about many issues, it was great. We were so immersed in our genuinely engaging chat, we both had to remind ourselves what we were meeting for.
OK, this is it, time to impress him with the goods. I reached for my recordings, cued the first song and pressed play. There was silence as the intro and first verse passed, more silence until we reached the end of the song. Ummm, this may not be going the way it played out in my head earlier. He asked if I had more, I replied yes and started to cue the next song. I again pressed play and sat back. Another long pregnant pause, until he indicated for me to stop the recording. I was highly interested in what was going to proceed from his mouth, after all he had given nothing away up until this point. He said in a confident, assured tone… “they’re not strong enough”. I gulped and said ‘Oh, Ok’. I can honestly say, I was not expecting that response at all (call me over confident) but I really wasn’t. I found myself having to quickly reoriented myself and establish focus on the bright side of this situation. After 20 years of motivating and strengthening others, I found myself having to quickly walk myself through the Bounce Back process I have so often taught.
Grief and the mind & body process:
You see, when we are greatly disappointed and our bubble is popped to some significant level, our body goes through a grieving process. In fact, our subconscious mind only knows that there has been a death of some proportion. Whether it be a death of an idea, goal, desire, major dream or a person, the body is affected in a similar way, just to varying degrees. As an entrepreneur for over 25 years, I have experienced this first hand. For every successful project I’ve enjoyed, there have been many disappointments, some small and others major. I remember loosing £265,500 in a property deal about 13 years ago. My body wanted to literally shut down, go into denial mode and then shortly after that, get furious. As my mood evolved, I felt to explore all the scenarios that could have prevented the situation. After this period lapsed, I observed my mind wanting to dwell in the midst of hopelessness and stay there for ever. That period morphed into one of ’empowerment’, as I began to fully accept what had happened. This was the start of me lifting my head up again, ready to take the step back onto the fast lane of life – which became the stage I trained myself to bounce back to after future disappointment. From that day, I set myself a goal to work through the process of grief and bounce back in a faster and faster time.
Studying this process helped me to understand exactly what the mind and body were actually going through. I write about this in greater detail in another article called ‘Bounce Back with Bounce’. In this article I talk about each stage of grief and the steps to finding your energetic momentum again, quickly.
Going back to my latest disappointment
It was a great experience to be knocked back and stretched like that. The experience brought me back to an extremely high level of respect for understanding self and the knowledge of negotiating life’s disappointments.
Now, 24 hours on and how do I feel?
Absolutely ready to step up to new unfamiliar level. I’m also totally grateful for the lessons learned. I would like to quickly go over some of the lessons I was blessed with yesterday and what it will do for me in the coming days / weeks / months and even years to come.
1. It highlighted that I was automatically in a state of positivity and high expectancy
This is great, as I always want to be positive, highly expectant and radiating a high vibration. Now, don’t get it twisted, I am a realist also, however my realism is probably more positive and optimistic than most. This is based on my world and Universal view, which is also based on my fundamental understandings. The bottom line is, I am on earth with purpose, power and potential to create and live the life I desire. If I play according to the construction and the workings of the universal laws I can create my greatest life and live my greatest version – so I am!
2. I was in great spirits, my attitude radiated a loving and happy frequency that has helped to build a beautiful rapport and start a relationship that I am confident will develop
Looking back I am very pleased with the forming of a new genuine friendship, it was authentic, natural and vibrant. This keeps the door wide open for the next meeting. I also felt he was impressed with my ability to switch gears from victim to victor.
3. I learned how I could step up my quality, step up my game and walk towards becoming the greatest version of myself
If I were given a penny for every time I’ve reminded a client that it’s not about the destination and to value the journey, I would a vault full of pennies. Yesterday was a prime example of the rich value on the path of the journey. After, the shock and disappointment of his initial response, I oriented myself quickly and started to get into solution mode. Which was to see the situation for what it truly was and be in the moment with it – extracting all of the goodness. I started to ask good questions, questions that would elicit relevant insights. I basically wanted to understand the bridge between where my songs where at the moment and where they needed to be in order to call them well constructed international hits. My anticipation for each answer grew as I carefully deposited every word as if they were gold bars – they were. After 15 minutes of extraction and asking him for examples and further clarity. I was armed with both my songs and the information required to take them to the next level of excellence. The information I learned in the 15 minutes after the shock was more valuable than a deal at that point. Picking up valuable gems on the path of the journey is sometimes greater then just arriving at the destination.
4. A valuable refresher of a key life skill
Sometimes we can be so long in the tooth at something, we take it for granted. We also can become less connected to the emotional charges that are triggered by these circumstances. However, I am grateful for what life throws at me and understand there is always different perspectives of seeing everything. All circumstances have a blessing attached, at first, if we don’t see it, it’s up to us to change position.
Every situation in life has the potential to change us for the better, evolve our abilities and ascend our character. The potential is only realized when we get aligned with the right perspective, giving us the ability to make the correct choices.
Where am I now?
My Attitude and state of mind:
I am buzzed and pipped up, even more than before to reach the higher levels I have been woken up to. I have been blessed with the ability to attain all that I can see and believe I can.
My Action plan:
I am making a plan and strategy to learn the required elements of the new standard. I will then reconstruct and modify my songs integrating my new and improved insight. I will be back in front of the producer within 6 weeks, with an even higher level of expectancy.
My hope for you: I hope my experience has encouraged and empowered you into a place of strength and action.
To your very best version