Dealing with Rejection
I once heard someone say, there are three things that eventually confront all humans,
life, death and rejection.
Unfortunately, the time comes when something doesn’t go our way. In fact, sometimes it goes in the opposite direction to our desire. Low and behold, we confront the dreaded force of rejection – to a lesser or greater degree.
In short, rejection is an inevitable part of our life. Fear of rejection is one of the most powerful thoughts and emotions lots of us harbor. It can cause damage to our confidence, decision making and personality. When someone rejects us, we have a propensity to feel so small, unloved, worthless, insecure and insignificant. We can even lose a sense of who we are. Rejection can impact us so strongly, that it sometimes leads us to behave in ways we wouldn’t otherwise behave in. The bottom line is, we all have experienced rejection and the depths of it’s pain.
Rejection comes in various forms and may occur even in the smallest ways. However, the funny thing is, we tend to blame ourselves for being rejected even if we logically know that it’s the other person’s problem and not ours. The way we deal with rejection is key to upholding our self-respect and dignity. No wonder there are vasts amounts of time spent on writing about the subject of rejection and ways to deal with it. Since rejection can come in many ways, info on how to handle it also varies. There are articles that contain steps on how to handle rejection from within a romantic relationship, within a family dynamic, how to handle rejection at work, as a writer, actor, entrepreneur, parent and so on.
Unfortunately, we cannot avoid rejection but we must keep in mind that it can be destructive only if we internalize it as a negative. What I mean by this is, If we permit it to infect our thoughts, belief system and emotions.
It is truly important to equip ourselves with the right knowledge about dealing with rejection. When we do this, we are then able to …
- First, see rejection as a friend that builds us up – we can actually use these situations to build our sense of self and internal confidence.
- Secondly, see it as merely a difference of opinion or desire to our own desire/s, that’s it!.
When we see it clearly enough we can start to practice walking through the process quickly and without any damaging after effects.
By adjusting our perception and also learning powerful ways of dealing with rejection will dramatically overcome the feelings of low self-esteem and self confidence, both of which usually follow situations of rejection.
Failure to equip yourself with knowledge about rejection can have a massive affect on the ability to build healthy, trusting relationships.
Again, we know that rejection is undeniably painful and accounts for many of us avoiding situations that run the risk of further disappointment. Avoiding pain and disappointment might sound like a rational and wise strategy. However, at closer inspection, its a trap, a deception, although many fall into this subtle conditioning that leads to unrealized potential and unfulfillment. If you think about it, there are many cemeteries and funeral parlors that are littered with multiple libraries of unfinished books and unwritten lectures, races not run, careers not attempted, dreams that were not realized. This is partly down to the feelings we associate with rejection and the avoidance of them. We build up a fear of the feeling of being rejected, then we consciously and unconsciously avoid situations that may even hint of stirring up those feeling within us. This prevents us from taking the necessary and required risks that lead to living a purpose lead and fulfilled life.
My last advise (within this article) on dealing with rejection is a preventative measure, a state of being that is practiced over a period of time. Since we all like being liked and significant to a degree. Focus on self like (liking all aspects of yourself), then develop this into a strong self love. When this is mature, it anchors you into a state of wholeness regardless of whether you are liked or disliked externally.
To your greatest version