Self Grow

Fear response – overcome it and be free

The spectrum of  FEAR and it’s many variations – Are there really variations? 

There are indeed variations of fear. However, all types of fear have the element of a stern warning: the “think twice” principle.

Healthy fear makes you carefully prepared for a trial, but alarming and debilitating fears make you stay out of it all together. In the sense of making you prepare carefully, healthy fear is an optimistic feeling, while alarming and debilitating fears are pessimistic and somewhat harbour a hopelessness.

Healthy fear instills wisdom and respect, while alarming and debilitating fears result in tyranny.

Healthy Fear

You fear someone you highly respect. In this sense, fear is a byproduct of

wisdom and high esteem. You don’t fear the person because you are afraid of them. You

fear them because they create feelings of admiration and reverence. You fear the president of your

country, for instance, because he is a figure of power and authority. You dare not offend

the president, yet you like to meet him personally. You appear your best when he is

around, carefully shake his hand, and make sure that you say only nice things. Then

you tell everybody the honor of being able to meet the president personally. This fear

has a way of bringing out the best in you. Fear, in this sense, is actually awe or wonder.

In the same sense, a young man who has romantic feelings for a young woman

may have some kind of fear whenever he approaches her, more so when he faces her

parents. But this fear doesn’t stop him from pursuing his good intentions for her.

Likewise, an employee, even without having committed an offense, may fear his boss.

Yet, he keeps reporting for work everyday. Job applicants also experience the same

with their interviewer. Just the same, they go ahead with the interview. School children

often fear their teachers and principals (oftentimes even more than their parents), but

these students enjoy school. It is said that children treat school as a second home, and

teachers as their second parents. Healthy fear births respect and propriety in

relationships.

 Nevertheless, once healthy fear is consistently fed with wrong information, it may

lead to alarming fear. For healthy fear to remain healthy, there must be healthy contact

with the object of fear.

Alarming Fear

 Alarming fear occurs when you sense some threat or danger in a place, person,

or thing. The idea is not to stop you, but to make you very careful in your undertakings.

The idea is to dissuade you from pursuing a wrong direction. It makes you ask yourself,

“Am I going to proceed or abort?”

If it is for a good cause (like self-preservation), and you proceed, you do it with

utmost caution. If you abort, you delay your plans for a more opportune time. You do not

give up. You wait for a more favorable time and condition.

If some misunderstandings or petty quarrels stand between two sweethearts,

alarming fear starts to set in. This fear is not to keep them away, but to check their ways

and attitudes toward each other. If a pupil fails to do his homework, his teacher will

employ disciplinary measures. If he gets low grades, his parents may issue some

warnings accordingly. The pupil may begin to feel alarming fear and try to do better next

time.

 Alarming fear is not admiration or reverence. It is being aware that something is

wrong. In another sense, it is recognizing that some kind of danger is lurking

somewhere, and you have to be ready (like when you hear something go bump in the

middle of the night). When you feel alarming fear, you prepare for the worst decidedly.

You don’t freeze, but you become more alert. You may decide to detour to delay

confronting the danger now. Then you think of measures to improve yourself in case the

danger surfaces again. You don’t let the danger confine you to a prison or limitation.

You keep yourself in control. You are not afraid; you just want to be safe and secure.

 When alarming fear is not dealt with, this fear may grow within you, and may

soon overwhelm you. 

 When alarming fear seems to surround you, you must prepare yourself to

overcome it. Try to talk yourself into facing the fear once it recurs. The moment you give

in to fear and it becomes a habit, the tendency for cowardice begins to settle in. You

lose the urge to overcome your fear. Instead, you simply accept the fear as your way of

life. The fear then limits your freedom, and soon dictates what you can and cannot do.

When fear dictates on you and makes you helpless, it becomes too alarming. Fear that

gets too alarming tends to change your character negatively. It must be seriously dealt

with.

Debilitating Fear

Abused children who run away from abusive parents or teachers can indicate a

sign of being afraid. A frustrated suitor may never want to have anything to do again

with the girl who rejected his love because he is afraid of being humiliated. An employee

who is guilty of an offense may just suddenly not report for work because he is afraid.

Debilitating fear is synonymous to being afraid. In simple words, it turns you into

a coward. It makes you want to suddenly disappear from the situation at hand.

Debilitating fear makes you give up in fighting the thing you’re afraid of. The thing,

place, or person you are afraid of has become a tyrant punisher that you want to stay

away from or easily give in to. You have become a prisoner of the danger.

When fear takes out the joy in you, it’s debilitating. You tend to be withdrawn, or

you lose interest in whatever incites the fear. You avoid the subject matter, or show

repulsive reaction when the thing, person, or place is brought out.

Debilitating fear must be dealt with soonest. When ignored or encouraged, it can

lead to phobia. A child who has experienced burning his tongue with hot milk in his

feeding bottle may become too alarmed by it. The mere sight of the feeding bottle with

milk may give him chills in his bones. His health could be greatly affected by this,

especially when he becomes hysterical each time he sees feeding bottles. Many

children have phobia or irrational horror about injections. By just seeing women in white

coat or overalls, they have tantrums. They think every woman in white dress is an

injection-wielding nurse.

Taking remedies for debilitating fear at its initial stage is vital.

The remedies for fears and phobias are discussed in the article called ‘How to deal with fear”, I also wrote for Ultimate life magazine.

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Author Profile

Ghramae johnson
Ghramae johnson

Ghramae Johnson is an accumplished, charismatic entrepreneur, author and life mastery coach. He has created a number of courses and crafted multiple educational products that have transformed many lives, enabling his students (from all corners of the world) to navigate to live the life they love.
More info about the Author – GhramaeJohnson.com